Dating Sites – Part 3

Having been on various dating sites for a few weeks now, I’m becoming more than a little a little disillusioned with the quality of the messages I’m receiving. Some are from what seem nice, genuine guys who, for whatever reason, I’m just not attracted to so I don’t reply (but I do feel guilty about it).

Others that don’t get a reply seem to have a limited interest and just say “Hi sexy” or “I’d like to do you”.

Some look good and start off well but then it turns out they can’t string a sentence together or use proper punctuation or capital letters in the right places. Sorry if that’s pedantic but English is important to me and I don’t want to have conversations in text speak.

Others fall by the wayside for other reasons.

Guy1: (Doesn’t even start off with a greeting of any kind) Your photos are very different, how do I know they are you???

Me: With glasses, without glasses, black top, different black top, they’re both me.

Guy1: When were they taken???

Me: Last summer.

Guy1: How do I know that???

Me: *deletes conversation*

Seriously, I’m sorry if you’ve been taken for a ride photo wise in the past but don’t take it out on me. And how do I know it’s you in your photos anyway?

Guy2: Hi

Me: Hi back, how’s you?

Guy2: Here’s a picture of my ****

Guy2 (10 minutes later): where u gon

I then logged off and got on with my life.

Guy2 (2 hours later): u still there

Guy2 (next day): u want talk

Guy2 (2 days later): wy u no talk to me

Me: *sighs resignedly and deletes conversation*

I’ve also noticed that a lot of guys are very needy (after years of needy, I don’t do needy). They expect you to be there online every time they’re online and it goes against you if you have a job to go to and you can’t message them in work time.

I was getting on quite well with one particular guy, although I didn’t reply initially for a couple of hours and I explained that I was just home after a 12 hour shift at work and had another one the next day with only 11 hours between them. There appeared to be a natural end to the conversation and I went to bed. As it was our first conversation and I’m used to people on Twitter and Facebook just accepting I’m not there 24/7 I didn’t bother saying goodnight. When I got up in the morning there was a string of increasingly sarcastic messages along the lines of:

Guy3: Did you get that last message?

Guy3 (1am): Where’ve you gone?

Guy3 (2.30am): Do you not want to chat?

Guy3 (4am): Thanks for the chat, I enjoyed it, I’ll talk to myself next time.

Guy3 (4.30am): I won’t bother you again then.

Jeez, do these people never sleep??? It’s not like I’m married to you, you have no claim on me or my time so don’t pull the needy thing or I’m gone.

To be continued…I guess.

 

 

 

Dating Sites – Part 2

Given my recent flirtation with online dating sites, I’ve had to think long and hard about what I’m actually looking for. The short answer is nothing. I’m actually very independent and totally happy on my own but I’m still open to the idea that there *may* be someone out there that could make me happier…as long as they’re not going to mess up my very organised and already full life.

When you set up a profile and do a search on a dating site you have to seriously think about what you would actually do if you get any results in your search or any winks, visits (to your profile page) or messages from guys. To avoid wasting your time with guys you’d leave the cinema in the middle of a film to get away from (I’ve done that in a past life) you need to fill in certain criteria regarding your preferences.

After a few near misses, probably better described as lucky escapes, over the last couple of weeks, I’ve drawn up a shortlist in order of preference.

Height: 5ft 11 or taller. Not negotiable. I can’t be doing with someone not much taller than me (5ft 4 ¾ – and it’s a very important 3/4 ).

Hair: There has to be some. Quite a lot actually and in quantity not length. Short. Brown or black. Any other colour will be considered but have you thought of Just For Men?

Eyes: There have to be two.  Brown is best but if you have another colour and I like you I won’t be pedantic enough to ask you to consider coloured contact lenses.

Looks: You have to be attractive. To me anyway. If you don’t turn me on just by walking in the door I’m not interested, I can go do jigsaws on my own.

Facial Hair: Not a requirement and definitely not just a moustache but there can be facial hair. It must be neatly trimmed in an ‘I care what I look like’ kind of way, not a ‘it’s good for keeping me warm and I’ll shave in the spring’ kind of way. Think George Michael and Faith.

Glasses: An unexpected bonus, glasses are sexy on a guy.

Interests: You can have them. I don’t want to spend every waking moment with you as I have my own life so I actually want you to give me some space by going to the football/playing golf/seeing your mates/whatever. I will be giving you space by going away in the caravan if you don’t want to come or don’t have the time off. If you like playing or watching snooker, this is a bonus, you can admire my jean clad bum while I throw my leg over the table to take my shots. I don’t do sci-fi or horror movies.

Age: Under 40 (I’m 50, by the way). The other end of the scale is open but needs to be legal.

Other requirements: You have to be independent. I’m done with being needed in a practical sense and you need to be able to operate your own bank account, buy your own clothes and be able to set up a new toaster, TV or printer on your own. At the risk of misquoting Nanny McPhee, I want to be wanted, not needed.

If I already know you, you meet these requirements and we haven’t sexted yet (no, seriously, that was a joke!) maybe I don’t know you’re available, so drop me a message. If I don’t already know you, hey, I’m open to making new friends!